Throwing in the Towel

I have the day off tomorrow. I'm not entirely sure what I should do with myself. Free time freaks me out in a way. I wanted to do something fun tonight but most of my friends are busy. This is possibly the thing I hate the most about being single. Nights like tonight....Monday nights when I know I don't have to work the next day and I'm screwed because all of my friends have homework and work and boyfriends. Fast forward to Tuesday. Its 9:37am. On my day off. I've been folding and hanging clothes for the past 30 minutes and realizing that I have three wedding invitations for this summer already and zero non-female date options. One of my best friends since I was 4 made a comment the other day that really made sense to me. She said "I don't think you've ever been with anyone who's really matched you. They've fulfilled some aspect of what you're looking for but never the whole thing." I think that's true. Which makes me wonder if I'm just too picky. My mind set is that I just want one (1)...just one person in the entire world has to match my criteria and there are billions of people. So surely its not too much to ask that one person be attractive, intelligent, witty, flirtatious, a real Christian (that's the one that always gets me), loves to read, can cook, and values me for something more than all the others have. Accents are appreciated but not required (particularly, British, Australian, or Scottish). I want someone who loves people like I do. I want someone who sees their life extending into a generation beyond their own. I think if I die without leaving a legacy I have failed. If I die without hearing "well done good and faithful servant enter now into the joy of your Lord" I have failed more than I can bear. Where do these people live? I've decided to give up. I'm done. I'm done trying to find a boy and do mental gymnastics to attempt to fit him into the "mold" of Lyndsey husband material. Its what I call the Esther phase. Esther spent a year preparing for her King, not knowing if he would have her or not. On first glance that may seem kind of sexist but honestly Esther's identity did not rely on whether or not she was chosen. She didn't adorn herself like the other girls, she was herself and let her own natural beauty and intelligence shine through.